We live in a competitive society where even those who are below our equals or our competition radars try to compete with us. And believe me when I say that no matter how much we tell ourselves and our friends that "they" don't affect us, they actually do. In fact, they are oftentimes even more annoying than those people we perceive as our equals or our competition. That's why we see a lot of angry and distressed stats about "insecure" and even "ugly" people. This is true especially for those who never initiates bitchiness in a room. I, for one, had been a victim of this crazy scenario a couple of times and had blacklisted people because of this. I've been shouted at, gossiped and devalued when I never had the intention to get into such mess because a hostile environment is too toxic for me. I thrive where there's respect and peace. It's where I'm happy.
But it got me into thinking. Is it entirely the fault of those people who hate us because they're insecure? I used to think that it is, but I changed my mind. When we put our blame entirely on them, we become the bitch. We have it all; we are pretty, smart and desirable. What's left for them? Perhaps they're devalued a lot because of their lack of this and that. So even if they secretly admire or love us, they're on the defense. Because they have none. So, whenever they see us, they feel threatened. Human by nature is territorial. All of us are inclined to protect what we believe belongs to us or should belong to us.
So, while it's natural to initally hate our haters, it's wrong dwell on the pain they've caused and put the blame fully on them. Because as long as we look and act threatening, it'll always be partly our fault. In fact, we must learn to say "I'm sorry if I was threatening to you. I'll do my best to make you feel good as much as possible" sincerely. In that way, they'll see their value. Once they do, that's only the time that they will see us not as a threat but as a friend. I think looking non-threatening is a must have skill.
No comments:
Post a Comment