My heart in broken lines...

Once upon a time,
I was sure it was you that I want.
Perhaps out of passion and out of wonder it was.
You were that gentle hunk that I adored.
I felt so safe being loved by you.

And then we ended up together.
What hardship it was loving you - you being far from me.
But it was all worth it because you made me happy.
You only had to say those 3 letter words that waited for each morning.
Though it didn't last long.

One day,
I just woke up and realized that my love for you was hanging on a thread.
No more I love yous in the morning and sweet kisses in the evening from you.
And all I had to settle for were your apologies.
Apologies that only remained as is because you've chosen not to change.

However,
We persisted.
Me, hanging on and waiting for your words - goodbye.
You, giving less and less of your time.
In my thoughts, we're both just afraid of endings.
Terrified of starting over.

And so we'll both go on like this.
Pretending that we love each other when we actually don't.
Saying I love you but doing nothing to prove that we're still in love.
Loving each other still
But looking for an escape.

To settle for not knowing

Stealing glances you and I
The world stops
It freezes each moment our eyes meet

Subtle cues shared between you and I
Each moment framed
Just like clips from a movie scene

We never said a word
But it was obvious that our feelings were strong
They noticed but we just kept mum

What we wanted to believe is that we feel the same
What we didn't know is that we felt the same
What we failed to tell is that we felt the same
But we just settled for not knowing

Now here we are
Talking like there's no tomorrow
Our exchange of words speak nothing of what we've felt before
Because it's still there
But now it's too late

How can we be friends?

How can we be friends when I melt at your stare?
...when my world suddenly stops when you're around?
...when my words leave me when we're talking?
...when I feel naked and blank when you're near?

How can I be yours when all that I need to be your friend falls and scatters like ice on concrete ground when you and I are in one room?

In my mind its all passionate kisses and romantic scenes.
But in reality, I can't even hold you.
Because for me you are a walking fancy.
Much more precious than a fist full of diamonds.

I can take a chance.
But the only chance I can take is to expose my feelings to you.
It may burst my bubble or it may draw me closer,
But for now, I can never ask for anything more.