Knelt down to pray. But no.. Have to go to work now.

I had a dream last night.

I entered the church to attend a mass. Knelt down, hoped for some words of wisdom from the good priest who will be presiding the mass that day. But I noticed right away that the crowd was thin and there was but a few healthy looking people. And so I asked what the occasion was and I was politely answered that there was going to be a healing priest that day. There will be no mass. 

I thought of going home but after thorough thinking, I opted to stay. I thought to myself "I need emotional healing." And so I waited until it was my turn. I knelt down in front of the priest and started talking about how much the bully at work and her allies are hurting me. But I paused when I noticed that the priest wasn't paying attention. Instead of listening to me, he was talking to someone else. Then I check my watch, noticed that it was just a few minutes before work. So, I decided to call the priest's attention. I said in a rather sarcastic tone "Father, is it really my turn already? You see, I have to go to work in a bit."

The irony and the comedy of life...

I was praying to be healed or perhaps to be spared from the pain from the people at work but then I prioritized going to work on time more than my time for prayer. Perhaps that was what I was becoming. A person wanting escape but not really making a way to get out of the rut. Soon I'll be. But for that to happen, I have to conquer my fear of talking about the "uncomfortable" truth that's been hunting me in the past months. Uncomfortable because it caused me my self esteem and self confidence. I'll say exactly what happened. That I've been gossiped at and I've been bullied. 

And finally, the jury...

The priest wasn't paying attention. That I can relate to those above me at work. I mentioned in passing during my first interview with the general manager that there's "bullying" issues in our workplace. But he simply laughed it off. Was he paying attention? Maybe. Does he care? Perhaps yes. But if his employees really matter to him, he will do something to create a healthy working environment. And that is, an environment free from gossip and bullying, where only those who are kind and polite can thrive.